Just plain

It isn't easy to admit... but, I have an addictive personality.  Not me being additive!  My personality would drive people away long before they could get addicted!

It is that I get addicted to things. 
 
My current addictions are:
Caffeine - Love my coffee!  And tea.  Preferably sweet tea.  See next addiction.
Sugar - How I wish I could beat this one!  Dang sweet tooth.
Facebook - Most days I am on at LEAST for a little while.
Headphones - I love listening to music with my headphones.  It blocks out all other noise and lets me get lost in the music!
Swearing - Bad habit.  I can usually control this one.  Unless I am mad.  If I string more than two swear words together that means I am NOT currently in control.  It happens.  That is why it is still on this list.

Not too long of a list.  I have kicked a few addictions.  That is one of the things I can claim about myself that HAS improved with age.  Getting rid of a bad habit or addiction feels good. 
That is all that I can come up with. 
I wonder if others could add to it? 
It might be better for my self confidence if I don't ask!
No way would I ever try to list all of my faults!  I know that list is long.  Some things, I have learned, are just better off accepted. 
I like to think I am fairly opened minded.  On most things.  But I have my limits.  I am still a product of my upbringing.  There are things that set my teeth on edge a few years ago that don't bother me at all now.  So how did I get from my last nerve to not caring a bit? 
I am just not sure. 
Did I, ME, DEBBIE, grow up on a few things?  Is it temporary?  I hope not. 
I am not making as big of a fool of myself lately.  Or a better way to say that might be;  I don't feel as foolish lately.  I might be perceived the "same as always" to others.  But I am more comfortable with myself now.  And to be honest that is what I am more worried about.  If someone didn't like me the way I was they probably still won't like me.  So I am not too worried about what others think about me.  I would rather worry about if I can look at myself in the mirror without loathing. 
I am not comfortable with organized religion but I do consider myself to be a Christian.  I feel that I am a moral person.  I know what is right and what is wrong and try to live my life right. 
I fight judging people.  But I don't want to be judged wrongly, so I have worked hard on keeping an open mind about other people and their struggles.  I know we all handle pain in different ways.  I have observed people react lots of different ways.  It is still hard to watch someone struggle.  The "fixer" part of me wants to help.  But if I have not been asked, then I am only intruding.  And I sure have found that when a "person" intrudes, where they have not been asked, you will end up feeling foolish. 
One of the biggest miracles for me is that I am learning to keep my mouth shut.  Sometimes.  That is so much better than before.  Used to be I never could keep it shut.  Now I can know or feel strongly about something and just keep it to myself.  Amazing.  It is nice to be more comfortable in my own skin.
I also struggle with self worth.  I know I am not trash but how much am I worth?  Good enough to do a job that anyone else could do?  That isn't so good.  Where is the balance between self doubt and an over inflated opinion of myself?   
My own self view is that I am a plain person.  No fancy in me.  Stubborn.  And a bit of a "know it all".  Ewww!  "Know it alls" never know it all.  I hate that part of me.  Why, why, why would I ever think someone would give two cents for my opinion?  Not much to be proud of.  But not much to be ashamed of either.  Just a plain person.  A person with a fairly short list of addictions.  But an admitted fear of listing all my faults.  Also an admitted fear of having other's list my faults.  Hmmm...  As much as I say I don't care what others think, I find that I keep saying things that contradict that.  There is something to think on.

I think I better get out of my house and take some pictures.
The posts with photos are so much easier on me.