Finally!

It has been busy this last few weeks.  Having the Flu in the house is no fun! Thank goodness there have been other things to distact me! 
I have tried to do a post a few different times but I haven't been able to get photos to post.  I would get all started writing a post about what has been keeping my attention lately, but it involves pictures and the option to download photos from my computer has not been available.  I don't want to describe the pictures.  I want to show you the pictures!
Finally tonight I can load pictures!  SO.......

It would be nice to have one of these trees in my backyard.  Really nice!

AND

Kita and the new kid came for a visit!

It is possible that I might have taken a few pictures......

 

I love his eyebrows!  He uses them to make the best faces!!

Then,... I got a chance to take some family/maternity pictures.  The weather was very nice last weekend so we met at Mohawk park.  Big brother was BUSY! He did not hold still for more than 5 seconds at a time.

Then I took more pictures of the baby.........

I love it when he smiles at me!  He does that cute baby thing where he smiles with his whole face and body.  It is just so cute!  Oh! and he talks in his sleep.... singing might be a better description.  I have a video on my phone.  I can't download things from my phone.  I need to get some type of card..... I keep forgetting to do that.  Hmmmm...

OH!!  Before I get distracted by the cute little guy too much.......
My BABY had her birthday recently.  How in GOD"S name is it possible for her to be 25?

That is Heidi sitting in her lap. 

She is Mattie's baby. 

For now. 

 Mattie is my last hope for a grandaughter.  I am NOT complaining about the two cute grandsons that I have!  I just wanna have a grandaughter too.  But Mattie is too busy going to school and working right now.  Maybe later?  I hope!

I am missing grandson number one.  I haven't seen him since Christmas time.  It will be next month before I get to see him again. 
*sigh*
My hubby sure does need to figure out how to win the lottery so that I can move ALL of the kids and grandkids close to me.  It would also be nice if I could quit working and spend all my time spoiling this next generation. 
Still wishing!

One last thing.....


Clean babies smell so very, very good!

 

Dignity

Dignity. 

You know I seldom think of, or use that word. 
It is a really important word.

To lose dignity would be horrifying.
It makes my heart stutter and skip a beat to think of it.

I wish I was wise enough to know how to save dignity.
A best effort is hopefully good enough.

Patience is not always easily given to strangers.
I hope for the best but watch for the worst.

Bit by bit taken away and then to lose so much at once.
Standing and watching.

Powerless to fill all but the very simplest request.
Hoping that her dignity will not all be lost.


 

Wanted Dreams

Want and Wish
Hope and Dream

Balanced with acceptance

You can Want but never receive
Wish but never get a thing
Hope leaves you waiting
Close your eyes for the Dream

A hurt heart still beats

Life and Promise
Time and Love

Acceptance is forgiven

Life goes on
Untouched is the Promise
Each and every Time
Love kept changes

A day cannot be stopped

Hurt and Yearn
Live and Smile

Heart stretched Yearning

A good Life isn't given
Some search and never Find
All the things Missed
Each Regret jealously kept

The softest Blessing found


 

New Year's Day

I spent the afternoon with my Grams at the hospital today.  She has had a stroke and things aren't looking really good for her.  Of course she still has dementia and each time she wakes up she is confused.  She has never been one to take meds and she doesn't like being ill.  She told me several times today that she is okay and just wants to go home.  The stroke wasn't massive but it was big enough to have messed up her left side.  She can barely use her left arm, hand and leg.  This means she can't walk right now.  She can't move herself about either.  She is so very confused!  She doesn't like the IV and has pulled it out.  This has caused her to have her right arm restrained.  She doesn't like that at all!  She asks over and over for us to take it off!  When she doses off she asks in her sleep for us to please take it off.  She can't remember that she has had a stroke and if she isn't watched carefully she would probably try to get up out of bed and walk out of the place.  Of course she wouldn't make it far at all and would probably fall causing more injury. 

I don't know if she will ever get to go home again or not.  The Doctors found two blood clots that cannot be removed.  She has an irregular heart beat and that seems to mean that she will get more clots.  We could have her for another year or another hour. 

None of us know our time.  But her time seems to be so much shorter now. 

She has a large family, 4 children, 10 or more grandchildren, 20 or more great grandchildren and 3 great great grandchildren.  We have never all been under the safe roof at the same time.  That would be such a wonderful sight!  We are all scattered all over the Country now, Oregon, Colorado, Pennsylvania to name a few of the states that come to my mind......I would like to meet each of them. Take their picture and see how much family resemblance there is from all the different branches.  Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, 1st Cousins, 2nd Cousins and even 3rd Cousins!  Kita and Eric were able to make a quick visit at the hospital and Grams got to meet Alex.  I didn't have my camera with me but Mattie took a few pics with her phone.  I hope to get copies of them and I will add them to this blog later if I do. 

Grams looked so small in her hospital bed as I was leaving.  She was worried about her purse and that things were locked up.  We all tried to assure her that we would take of things and to not worry.  It would help if she could remember but she can't. 
In all of this she hasn't lost herself completely.  She will try to trick you to undo her arm restraint.  She is just as stubborn and unchangeable as ever.  When I answered a question of her's today that she didn't like, she asked me..... "Why are your eyes so brown".  Even with my heart hurting she can make me laugh!