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Sunday, March 25, 2012

Spring's cheer




I don't think I will ever get tired of seeing the earth come back to life each spring.  It came early this year.  These were all taken in the backyard that looks more like a swamp now.   Last week was spring break for the school kids in the area and it rained almost the whole week.  We didn't have any reports, that I saw, of any kids pushing their luck too far and being done in by the parents.  The weekend isn't over yet though. 

I noticed Friday evening that there is a nest being built in the backyard tree.  I stayed busy today and didn't get to see who was doing the building.  That needs to go on Sunday's to do list.
I took this photo the first part of the week looking out the back door.  It was one of the few breaks in the rain.  My neighbors yard has some nice spring color.  I think I need to plant some tulips. 
I will have to clean up some flower beds before I can plant anything.  I was not able to do any yard work last year and there is a mess from my neglect.  I think I might be able to do better this year.  I have cleaned the front flower bed up some so I have already outdone last years efforts! 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Obviously it is Grace

I have typed, deleted, retyped, deleted, typed again only to delete it all in the end.  I have hopes that I can post today. 

I am fighting my attitude.  I fail more often than I succeed.

I find I have little patience for so many things.  I don't want to be grouchy.  I don't like the sour feeling that keeps creeping back no matter what I seem to do.  I am put out with grumpy customers and then I find the chipper ones get on my nerves.  What is wrong with me?  No patience at all.  I feel like I have given away all of something that I can't get back.  Little things that I would normally just shake my head at scrape my nerves raw. 
Here is an example.  I attended some mandatory training today.  That always gets on my nerves, so that isn't anything new.  What bothered me was the arrogance of the presenter.  The nice HR man gave a bit of intro, blah, blah, blah.  More blah, blah, blah.  (I am trying to look like I am not aggravated but it is getting harder the longer he takes)  Then Mr. HR mans reads an intro that was required to be read before start of  the video.  He reads this ridiculously long list of the presenter's accomplishments.  The longer the list gets the more it gets on my nerves.  What an ego.  But my problem is that I never do well when someone thinks they need to teach me how to behave.  I know how to behave.  I learned that when I was a child.  Am I the only that is offended by this?  Everyone else seems to be getting something out of the class.  It takes way more effort than it should for me to sit through the class.  Remember I said I know how to behave.  What a sad, pathetic case I am because my attitude kept leaking out.  It should not have been that hard for me to sit for one and a half hours listening to the training.  But all I can keep thinking of is all of the other things I could be doing.  Ugghhh!  My attitude sucks.  Again I feel like I have given away all of something....

I find I notice all the negative.  I am judging people and situations with no patience or understanding.  I don't want to open my mouth and only have ugly things come out.  Dang it!  How did I let the crappy part take the lead?  I need find my balance again.  I don't want to quit caring about people around me.  I have to find that balance so that I can help the hateful old man that can't help himself anymore.  So much easier said than done! 
Maybe a vacation would help.  Focus on something that has nothing to do with the ugly side of human nature. There are so many places in Oklahoma that I haven't seen yet.  I feel a need to see and soak up some spring views.  That itch to create has reached a level that is getting hard to ignore.  I need to air out my attitude.  Replace the cold and dark feelings that are clinging to me.  Make room for some joy.  See if I can trade the sour feelings with a sense of wonder.  I want to be somewhere that I can spend hours looking at everything around me. 
I think the battle with my attitude will always be a challenge for me.  I don't want to become one of the hateful souls that I see so much of.  Finding a way to put this in words does help.  It makes me think about things in more detail.  Getting motivated is another challenge.  It isn't easy to keep dusting myself off every time I wake up and notice I have fallen down again.  I know I am weak but I am not ready to give up yet. 
Ha!  I think I just figured out what is missing.  Grace!!  How did I let that happen?  If you see the dust on my backside would you please point out that I missed a spot?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I voted

I almost forgot to vote today.  What better way to describe how sad the choices are.  I was in the middle of cooking dinner when the Hubby asked, "Did you vote".  My response was, "Crap, I forgot all about it"!  No harm, I still had time to go after dinner.
I have no hopes that who I picked will win.  My pick usually comes in last.  I believe that means I don't have a popular opinion. 
I am in such a jaded mood that I haven't written anything in a very long time. 
So I will keep this short and just say......
I voted.