Simple

I am a person with simple taste.  Fancy doesn't (usually) impress me.  I don't care to dress up.  If I do have to dress up it is not in a dress.  I can wear the same few clothes over and over.  As long as they look presentable it is good enough for me.  It is so difficult for me to find clothes that I like, so I end up wearing them until they wear out.  Pretty sure there are people in my family or that work with me that are either entertained or possibly embarrassed with my wardrobe.

 Did y'all know that white tennis shoes are for old people?  I was informed of that not to long ago by a nice young person. 
*sigh*  My tennis shoes are white.  *sigh* 
Some how I just don't see myself wearing lime green or bright pink tennis shoes.  But I am getting distracted from what I wanted to say. 

Simple.  I like simple. 
 
I ended up in a pretty heated discussion this week at work over business cards.  I didn't want them.  I told them I wouldn't use them.  I was told that I needed them, to hand them out, while I was mingling or making contacts, at all the training I would be going to.  That as a supervisor I needed to project a more professional....... ummm...... a more professional........ummm.... something or other.  Hell I don't know!
There are several problems with that.

1. I don't mingle well.  I hide in the back and leave as soon as possible.
2. If I had to make a new contact for my job I would never hand them a business card.  (Cause I wouldn't have any with me, they would be back at the office, in the box that they came in, in the back of some drawer or cabinet)
3. I seldom go to training.  I don't like going.  Listening to hours of somebody talking to get a few minutes worth of useful information is VERY painful to me.  Life is too short to waste it like that!
4.  I don't want to be a supervisor. I would gladly give the title and the lousy .50 cent an hour raise back.  I would much rather be a minion than a leader.  Leaders have too many headaches to handle.
5. Some pig ears cannot ever, no matter how hard you try, be made in to a silk purse.  I am that pig ear.

I shoulda never ever ever let the old Chief talk me in to being a supervisor.  When I agreed it was just so that I could help them get the Records Department organized.  Nobody told me I would have to go to supervisor meetings.  That I would have to mingle with people and be required to hand out business cards.  Sheeesh! 

My boss and I usually get along pretty well.  We both had the same sort of broken childhood and we usually understand each other pretty well.  He is a much more charismatic person than I will ever be.  He keeps pushing me to be a better supervisor.  I keep telling him he can give the title to somebody else.  He says who?  I say, I don't care, pick someone.  Neither one of us likes to take no for an answer.  I don't know which of us is more stubborn.  Any way..... it ends up that there will not be any business cards ordered for me, to give out, while I am mingling, at all the training, that I am supposed to be going to. 

The worst part was that we decided to have this conversation while standing at the Chief's secretary's desk. 
Poor lady had to listen to it all.
I apologized to her today.
She was very gracious about it. 
She is a much nicer person than I am. 

It has not been a fun week.  But I know of others that have had much worse weeks.  It is kinda hard to complain when I know life could be worse. 

So I will just try to keep one of my favorite mottos in mind.

KISS!
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

The stupid in this motto is me.  Cause I often forget and then things get complicated.  I don't like complicated.  It gives me headaches.  Like supervisor headaches. 
*sigh*

At least it is Friday.

 

Night off

Still awake and it is almost 1:00 am.  All I have to do is take a few days off from work and I find my days ending later and later.  I am a night owl.  I am NOT a morning person.  Getting up at 5:00 am on work days is painful.  Pretty sure I have whined about that before.  Sorry. 
No little grandson today to wear me out.  I did go shopping.  Got some groceries I needed and found a few things for a kid's birthday that is coming up shortly.  I tried to find some new work clothes but left the store empty handed.  *sigh*  There are a bunch of ugly clothes at the stores.  I don't fall in the junior category way too old for that.  While I am a granny I don't like the granny clothes section either.  Sure wish there was an in-between section.  I really can't be the only female that doesn't like all the frills, neon colors and hand washing and line drying.  *more sighing*  I gave up, came home and took a nap.  A much more civilized way to spend an afternoon off when I can't get too far from the house. 
Tonight I am able to put on the head phones, turn it up as loud as it goes and shut it all out except the music and what is bouncing around inside my head.  You Tube's unlimited selection of music tempts me to stay up even later.  All that music, one more song leads to another and often I find one I haven't heard in awhile and I will listen to it more than once.  BuckCherry, Hinder, Seether, AudioSlave, Tom Petty, Stone Temple Pilots, The Black Keys have all made it on the play list tonight.  A very relaxing night.  Now if I could figure out how to soak in a hot tub at the same time.....
One more day off then back to the grind.  I better try skipping the nap tomorrow.  That might help me get to bed a more "decent" hour.....
I need to get out and satisfy an itch to take pictures.  All I have done lately are portraits.  I like taking pictures of my grandson and of others. But.  I want to go somewhere there are more plants and animals than there are people.  Some place that I can't hear the highway traffic.  I want to smell fall and to hear real life instead of man made noises.  To slow down and to take pictures of nature would be the a great way to spend a day off.  Maybe soon. Maybe
 

Dinner

Dinner is important stuff for the little guy.  He eats a good breakfast and lunch but dinner he CHOWS down.  Tonight's menu was an appetizer of cheerios, to keep little fingers busy while dinner is being prepared, a delicious entrée of peas & carrots, a banana for the side dish, a few peaches left over from lunch AND a few apple & cinnamon puffs for dessert. 

He also feels it is very important that he gets to do the biggest part of feeding himself.  This makes for a little bit of a mess.  I may need to do what his Aunt Mattie does and just feed him without a shirt on. 

I think he might be happy that it is dinner time.

 

Nom Nom Nom Nom...... 

 

FULL mouth

 

Good gwandma, keep it coming. 

Nom Nom Nom Nom

 

Uh.... I think I might have ate too much. 

 

Nah!  I was just joking.  What else ya got? 

 

I have what on my nose?

 

Did I get it off?

 

 

 

Last mow of the season?

It is supposed to rain this weekend.  The weatherman says it is supposed to get cold next week also.  So tonight was a good time to get the yard looking nice.  Alex helped his PaPa get the job done.

When he wasn't helping his PaPa he was watching his PaPa.  He really likes the riding mower.

Wait a minute Mom.... Is that the cute girl across the street outside driving her pretty new green car?

 

That is a slick car her PaPa got her!

 

Acceptance

 We all want acceptance but we aren't always good at giving it.  I don't believe that I am the only one that would like to be accepted the way I am.  I realize that I have plenty of faults but I hope that my friends and family accept me anyway.  To feel disapproval from the people you love not only hurts but crushes your heart.  Family is so very precious to me.  I have few that I call friends.  They are all the very best of people.  I watch them try to do what is right and to not compromise their standards.  The important thing to remember is we all have a different standard that we hold ourselves to.  We each have lines that we have drawn that we will not cross.  I think the lines are drawn from the pain that seems to stay with us and it is not always obvious to even the people closest to us. 

An example for me is asking for help.  This is still not an easy thing for me to do.  As a young single mother I was barely able to take care of us financially.  I had a job but it did not pay well.  I had no medical insurance and no money for medicine.  I went to a large well known charity.  The person that I spoke to did not help me.  They were horrid.  They made me feel like a failure for not being able to do these things for myself.  The idiot was even rude enough to point out that if I shared my illness with my children  that would be another example of me being a failure.  To this day, nor any day, for as long as I breathe, I will NEVER give them a penny of mine.  My head knows that this charity is not bad as a whole.  But my heart will NOT forget.  That is a line that I have drawn that I will not cross.  A few years ago the Chief wanted us civilian employees to "step up" and show support for this charity.  I informed him that if he ordered me to participate that I would.  But if I was ordered that would mean he would have to pay me.  I also informed him that I would not give one penny to them.  Not a drop of my own gasoline, not a spoonful of flour from my kitchen and not on cent from my check would go to the charity.  Thank goodness he did not order me to participate.  I couldn't afford to lose my job and I don't know if I would have been able to live with myself if I had helped.

I don't know why that person was "working" at the charity.  If they were a volunteer I hope that found a better way to spend their time.  There is no telling how many other desperate people walked in the door of that charity and received that same treatment.  I was sure desperate and I left in even worse shape.  Not only was my body still sick but now my heart was also.  I had strep throat and by the time I was able to get medicine I was very ill.  My children did also catch it.  I was able to find a doctor that did not charge me the full office visit fee and wrote scripts for all of us.  It took awhile to recover physically and financially from that.  There always seemed to be something like that happening and my budget had no wiggle room.  I worked so very hard just trying to make it through each day.  Most days were successful.  The girls and I were able to make it to work/school, we had food to eat, a roof over our head, and clean clothes.  None of this was fancy.  The clothes came from thrift stores, the food was mainly starch and the "roof" could be pretty scary sometimes.  It was such a rough neighborhood.  I don't know how we made it but we did.  Thank goodness I didn't have to struggle by myself for long.  My husband "rescued" us.  Neither one of us had a "pot to piss in" when we met.  It took us years before we got better jobs and we were able to have a little wiggle room in our budget. 

I watch so many young parents struggle to make ends meet.  I see them having to make choices solely because of the lack of money, resources or time.  I remind myself to be patient with others.  Some days the struggle to just make it through the day is so difficult and the last thing they need is somebody judging them.  If they are doing the best that they can who am I to judge them?  I watch parents with the best intentions make their children feel unworthy.  Not every person needs to have a degree in college and a "important" job to be successful.  What do you think this "child" would be able to accomplish if they felt accepted for what they were? 

My dreams for my children were not their dreams.  I am ok with that.  More than anything I want them to know that I love them.  That I believe that they are good people.  That I have faith that they can accomplish anything that they believe they can do.  I accept them for what they are and that there is nothing that could ever make me quit loving them. 







 

breakfast

Whatcha got there gwandma? 

OoooOooo!  Is that the camera?

Cause if it is then I need to start making faces!

 

How is this face gwandma? 

 

Are you getting this look gwandma? 

 

Are you laughing at me gwandma? 

Make sure your getting this face gwandma.

 

Cheerios! Time to eat.