Just decide

I think I have the New Year blahhh's.  Nothing is new except the calender.  Same old stuff and same old attitude.  I think my "working on it" has come out of gear and is just sitting in idle.  Where do I find my motivation?  I can feel it following me around but it is just a shadow.  I need to find that right spot in my head that will make it solid.  If I can decide, if I can get it clear in my head then the rest will follow.  First there is a need to block out some of the ugly things that people throw in my direction.  Then I need to dig through all my own doubts and excuses and move them out of the way. 
I have always been able to lie to myself way too easily. 
My attitude is often the main block to reaching my goals. 
My anger or hurt often decides which direction I go. 
I need to decide.
Do
or
Don't
Just decide and get on with it. 
Quit letting other's attitudes drag me into their endless circle.  That is their Hell.  I have my own demons that I fight.  I don't want theirs!
So where do I want to go this year?  What am I going to do?  Will I get to try some new things?  Am I going to set a goal?  Can I give up old fears?  I know I would be stronger for each one I shake off.  How much do I change without losing myself? 
For a bit longer I am stuck in idle.  This is time that I could use to get it organized in my head.
Where is that motivation?