Fake out

I just thought I was getting better.  I didn't do much at all this weekend thinking "If I just rest enough, the meds the doc gave me will get the job done and I will feel better.  No such luck.
I woke up this morning with my throat really hurting.  I took a peek in the mirror with the flash light shining down my throat.  White spots.  I still was not running  a fever, so off to work I went until the doctor's office opened.  2 weeks in a row I got to see Dr. K.  He is a cool guy.  A really laid back Dr, but ..... not my favorite way to spend my time or money.  Strep test came back negative so he isn't sure what is causing the white spots.  He said the 1st antibiotics were strong enough to kill strep.  (And the sinus infection and the ear infection)  But since I wasn't getting better and seemed to be getting worse he gave me a different and even stronger med.

The wonderful news?  The new meds come with extra side effects.  I just can't wait for them to kick in.

I feel like I am at the bottom of a big dog pile so buried that I can't even yell Uncle!

I go back to the Surgeon in the morning.  1st I stop at the imaging center for a new x-ray.  I am so excited that I get to model one of their gowns again.  I am getting goose bumps just thinking about it.  I really hope this will be the last time I have to do this!  There is 2 hours in-between the appointments.  The imaging center is usually very efficient and gets me out in less than 30 min.  So I will have a bit of a wait before the next appointment.  I think I might have to hang out in a Tulsa breakfast establishment and people watch for a bit. 
Then it will be off to see the Surgeon with the new x-ray film.  I want him to say "You are released.  Completely released!".  I want him to say that I can actively start building up my strength.  I really need him to let me go back to work full days.  I have used up way too much for this surgery.   I know nerves take a long time to heal.  It doesn't make the wait any easier knowing this.  I know this was not a simple surgery to bounce back from in just a few weeks.  I didn't know it would be this long!

There were some beautiful sunsets this last week.  I don't have a great view out the back of my house so I skipped breaking out the camera first evening.  I did give in the next night and snap a few pictures because the colors were just so wonderful. 

See beautiful colors, lousy view.  If I weren't such a wimp and would get over this stupid, mean, old bug.  Then I COULD have gone somewhere with a better view. 

I did try to change the focus and put all those wonderful colors in the back ground.

I think it improves the view but the colors are not as vibrant. 

As in most things with real life there always seems to be a trade off.  Just because I think something is a good idea does not mean the person next to me agrees.  But a good thing may not work for everyone.  So who gets to say what is good?  Do we have to give up on something because it is not good for everyone?  

I had a new friend on FB post an interesting idea.  It was about yearning for the freedom to be wrong.  As I read her post I tried to apply it personally.  My response, in part was, "If we are given the freedom to try and fail with out blame......Then, what would we be willing to try?"

What should I want to be willing to try?  What should I put me efforts toward?  I know my attitude could use some attention.