Bullets

Life is full of ups and downs.  Just when you think you have things under control you can find yourself laying flat on your back wondering what knocked you down. 
My childhood showed me that life can throw ugly bullets at you at any time and that it is not always possible to dodge them.  It isn't easy to pull your self up when you have been knocked down. 
I have watched friends and family when they were not able to dodge the ugliest bullets.  I have cried when their hearts have been broken.  My heart has hurt for them while they have struggled. 

I wonder what bullet will catch me next. 
It will happen. 
No way to keep it from happening.

My family shake their heads at me.  I see their feelings on their faces.  I think they are even more uncomfortable when I cry than I am. 

But I know that I can't dodge every bullet.  Just when I want something so badly.... I remember that it has been awhile since one has caught me and I fear.  The fear hits me fast.  I like to think I don't live with worry but it is there in the back of my thoughts.  Ready to sneak in and catch me unaware.  I don't like the unaware moments.  They hurt.  AND I seem to make a fool of myself when I am surprised.  I want them to stay hidden from most peoples view.  That way I can pull them out and poke at them when I am alone.  I don't want to share them in public.

The more I have, the more I have to lose.


Where the Hell did I put that wall?

The New Guy

I have been in Stillwater visiting.  I forgot how much time it takes to care for a new baby.  I am so very tired but I am even happier than I am tired.  Baby Alex is sooooooo cute!  I know that I am supposed to think that cause he is mine but...... really.... he is too cute!

I did get to go to a check up with him and he is gaining weight well.  He does not like to be naked!  He wants to be bundled up warm.  Diaper changes are a challenge.  As a mom of two girls I didn't get a lot of practice with boys.  Mr. Man lives out of state and I didn't get to spend much time with him the first few months.  Baby Alex has wet on just about everything.  If you stand too close during diaper changing you will be hit by the fountain!  The nurse that weighed him got a pretty good soaking.  Kita and I warned her he would turn on the water works but she couldn't dodge it fast enough. 
I wish I had taken more time to take pictures! I don't know how 5 days went by so fast. I only stopped twice and took the time to get some pics but I was able to get a few that I really liked. 

 

I think this one might be my favorite so far!

 

Merry Christmas

What a busy past 5 days!  Two trips to Stillwater and back, a new oven and cooktop installed, a day full of baking and cleaning, my house full of ALL of my children and grandchildren (yes grandchildren, plural!!).  A full dinner, with the table extended as far as it goes, every chair in the house pulled up around the table and every plate used. 
Hmmmm....I think I might need to get more dishes if I get to have more dinners at my house. 

My family has grown! 

We have a brand new member, little Alex.  He is wonderful!

He is already so loved!  He has met almost everybody too.

Mr. Man sure likes him.

His Aunt Mattie is really crazy about him.

His Grandpa thinks he is cute!

Aunt Carrie and Uncle Rob got to love on him.

I wanted to get a picture of all of us while we were all under one roof. 

It didn't happen. 

There just wasn't enough time.  James had to leave to work before we all finished dinner.  Then Mattie, Kita, Eric and Alex had to leave.  I got to keep Rob, Carrie, Tyler and Cohen for the rest of the night but they all packed up and headed out first thing this morning. 

No full group photo!

I was able to get a few pictures of most of them when Santa came for a visit.

 

Next time!

  I will make all of them hold still long enough to get a FULL group picture. 

I didn't get any pics of Mattie and James together OR with Santa!

 

My house is back to being quiet again.  *sigh*  I like it better when it is noisy. 

 

I spent the evening at Grams' house visiting.  She hasn't felt well the past few days.  She did wake up for a bit and play a few games of cribbage with me.  We shared a pot of coffee and talked about all the times she made my Christmas wonderful as a child.  I have great memories because of her.  The back bedroom has a tile floor and a wall furnace that is on the same wall as the den.  The tree was always set up in the den back then.  There was just a little bit of a view to be seen if you laid on the floor and peeked through the bottom part of the wall furnace.  I remember as a small child watching her and Aunt Mary wrapping gift after gift to put under the tree through that furnace.  Of course my big brother and I hogged the view and didn't let our little sister Lisa see much at all.  Not that we could see all that much.  Just a peek here and there.  But we could hear them talking and we knew they were wrapping presents for us!  The floor was so cold!  I remember my tummy getting numb laying there in the floor trying to see what I got for Christmas. 

Grams asked me several times what day it was.  Each time that I told her that it was Christmas Eve she seemed excited.  She kept looking at the tree and seemed to be lost in thought.  She told me that she misses having her friends.  We talked about all the parties she used to have in her house and how she misses that.  Her and Gramps loved to entertain in their home.

 

I snapped this picture while she was looking at the tree and we were talking about the past.  She was so lost in thought she didn't know I took it. 

 

She hasn't had a chance to meet Alex yet.  I wish I could take a picture of all 5 generations together.  Wish, wish, wish......always wishing.

Wish in one hand.......

 

Anyway...

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

 

 

 

Bath time!

Giving my Shepard a bath in the winter always makes a big mess.  Since she is an inside dog she never develops a thick winter coat.  Instead she sheds it constantly all over my house!
We have family coming over that do not live with a dog.  That means, to even begin to make them comfortable, the dog needed a bath.  In the winter that job must be done in the bathtub.  Leaning over the bath tub to clean her is not easy on my back.  It is lots of work to scrub more than 90lbs of hair!  It is even more work to clean up the bathroom AFTER giving her a bath.
So......
There is a new business here in Owasso where you can take your dog and give them a bath yourself.  I figure it was worth at least a try to keep from making the mess in the bathroom.  Shy knows when I get out her shampoo and conditioner that she is getting a bath and she gets excited.  So she was really confused when I put the shampoo and towels in a bag.  She kept going to the back door hoping that she was going to get to play in the water.  I was so glad that Mattie came over to help me!  This was going to be a first for Shy.  She is getting old and has problems jumping up in the back of the truck so Mattie drove her in her car.  Shy had no clue how to use the ramp so Mattie showed her how and Shy followed her right up. This isn't a really cheap option but I feel it was worth the money!  I left a TON of hair for them to clean up.  The thought of NOT having all that hair shed in my bathroom confirmed it for me.  The water was warm and the open basin was at a good height and we had her shampooed and conditioned in no time.  Shy has never experienced a blow dry.  I had a towel out drying off her head when Mattie first blaster her backside with the dryer.  OH! How I wish I had video or a picture of Shy's face when Mattie did that to her!  She was NOT amused but Mattie and I were!!!  The dryer only blew cool air but it did have a blast to it.  As soon as Shy held still Mattie started using it and there was a HUGE plume of hair in the air immediately.  Every spot that the dryer hit there was another huge puff of hair in the air.  How is it possible for one dog to have that much extra hair?  Once our timer ran out and Shy was able to get down she was ready to go.  She was not pleased with the dryer.  I am VERY pleased with the dryer.  It blew off more hair than moisture but that doesn't bother me at all.  Shy loves to go for car rides but this time she was glad to be home.  Mattie couldn't get the car door open fast enough for Shy.  Once it was open Shy ran for the front door so fast she about pulled Mattie in to the bush next to the porch.  Shy is always in a good mood after her bath and has trouble holding still long enough for me to dry her off.  It was the same tonight.  I still had to take her out in the garage twice tonight and comb more and more hair off her as she started to dry. 
She smells so very much better. 
Her coat is all shiny.
And hopefully when we try to pet her over the next few days there won't be a puff of hair all over the house!
The name of the business is Clean Spot and it is a clean place.  They request that you clean up the tub afterwards and I had no problem doing that.  There was nothing I could do about the huge amounts of hair all over the floor.  There is a facebook site and I mentioned that I had left a mess on the floor.  I was assured that wasn't a problem and that was part of the "charm" of using their facility. 
As long as it is too cold for my old Girl to have her bath outside I will go back and leave the mess for them to clean up. 
Thank you Mattie for helping your Mommy and Shy! 
Ahhhh! A clean dog. 

Beginning to look like Christmas

My oven quit working on me this week.  I kinda need my oven next week. 
I can't bake without an oven. 
So.... we think we found a new wall oven that will fit in the same opening that we already have cause now is NOT the time to remodel the kitchen!  Neither one of us wanted to try and install a gas oven so there SHOULD be installers here next Tuesday.  So hopefully the new oven will fit and the installers really, truly do show up and will get it up and working for me. 
I got pies to bake!
And pumpkin bread
And maybe some cookies (If I can find the time!)
I gotta cook a turkey
And maybe some ham
Oh and we GOTTA have hot rolls!
I really need an oven next week.

Today was a marathon gift wrapping day!  Every single gift that I have already purchased was wrapped up and put under the tree today.  Christmas tress look so much prettier when there are a few gifts under them. 

I always feel like I have accomplished a huge task when all the gifts have been decided on, purchased and wrapped. 

I took a few minutes Friday and tried to get some "holiday" pictures. 

I think I need more practice.  They aren't bad but not what I was trying for. 

 

Mattie received one of her Christmas gifts early. 

Shy likes her and even shared one of her dog biscuits with her. Shy has never had to share a biscuit before! 

I love puppies! 

I am really looking forward to seeing all of my family this year.  There is one that we are all waiting on.....if only, if only, if only.  That would be a great Christmas present!!!

 

 

Some wind!

I actually got out of the house this weekend.  It wasn't a much wished trip of a quiet walk, but it was out of the house.  In fact it was smack dab in the middle of downtown Tulsa.  I took photos of a nice young man for his Senior yearbook.  It was so windy that is was difficult to find a place that wouldn't blow us all away.  I remembered a small sunken garden that I walked past a few years ago and the area did provide some shelter from the wind.  We also took a few pictures around a nice fountain that had some lovely Willow trees.  The wind did make it challenging! 

Once we finished taking pictures we had lunch downtown at a pretty cool place called Caz's Chow House.  It was a bit difficult to get close enough to park because several roads were blocked off for a run that was just finishing up.  It was worth the effort.  The food was good and so was the service.  The place is right next to the new park called Guthrie Green.  The whole area was pretty quiet.  I guess because of all the roads in the area being blocked off.  Seeing the tic tac toe on the sidewalk made me smile.  I walked around the park for just a few moments before it was time to head back home.  I did, of course, take time to take a few pictures of the flowers. 

The weather has been so warm it is hard to believe it is December.  I left the house this morning in a short sleeved shirt and no jacket.  I am still not a fan of cold weather but I hate to think of how bad another long, hot, dry summer will be.  We need rain or snow and lots of it.  We had both front and back doors open this evening trying to cool the house off.  I made a big pot of beef vegetable stew for dinner and while it was simmering on the stove I took a few pictures in the back yard.

 

Again the wind was really blowing today!  I kinda like how this last photo had all the leaves blurred blowing in the wind.

 

It is amazing that there are any leaves left on the trees at all.  Have I mentioned that the wind has been blowing like crazy?  Crazy I tell ya!

 

 

Back after it!

Back to work today after 5 days off.  *sigh*  When the alarm went off at 5am I forced myself up, hobbled to the shower, slapped some make-up on my face and got back after it.  **double sigh**  There was a fairly light load of work considering the office was closed several days in a row.  The media log only had a few errors to clean up but the arrest log was a little trickier to do.  One booking entry was deleted by accident.  The Officer was able to re-enter the info but all the jail logs were on the old entry that was deleted.  So all that had to be pulled out of one program and added back to the new entry.  My boss had to fix that part.  One of the places that all this info is sent to is called Owassoisms.  The lady that runs this site is very good at what she does.  It isn't easy to find a balance between the public's wish to know and public safety.  I like the way her site still has the "small town" feel to it.  If you would like to read about our little town you can find all kinds of stories on her site at http://www.owasso411.com/ or you can follow Owassoisms on Facebook.

I did have a small pile of headache requests on my desk from my days off.  I call them headaches because they are all the odd ball things that seldom come up and it takes time and extra effort to get through them.  The first thing I picked up after lunch was a request for a 2011 child drowning report from the Consumer Product Safety Commission.  I hope that reports like this don't lead to excessive new rules or regulations.  I know public safety is an issue but if I want a small pool in my backyard I don't want there to be so many rules that I can't afford one OR that it becomes to much trouble and takes all of the fun out of it.  I will just hope for common sense to rule. 
Having CAUTION CONTENTS HOT all over McDonald's coffee lids does not follow common sense.  What does follow is somebody suing them when they spilled their hot coffee in their own lap.  Go figure, coffee is hot.  At least I think it should be.  Unless you order the ice coffee, then of course it should be cold.  I wonder if they will ever be sued and have to put CAUTION CONTENTS ICY COLD?
 
Turkey day was good.  The turkey turned out juicy, the mashed potatoes were creamy and fluffy, Mattie did her normal excellent job on the green bean casserole, the dressing was good even if I did almost forget it, there weren't any lumps in the gravy, the corn was extra yummy with butter melted all over it, the bread wasn't bad considering it was just heat and serve.  (I didn't have the time or energy to make yeast rolls from scratch!)  Oh!  Then there were the desserts.  Oh my the Pie.  I do like Pecan Pie, and Pumpkin Pie.  The Cheese Cake wasn't to bad either.  Thank goodness it is all gone now.  Well, except for the cookies Kita made.  I am gonna have to take them to work to save me from eating them all!  I was supposed to go back to watching my carbs today after eating all I wanted over Thanksgiving.  But there was a conspiracy against me and I failed.  The candy maker turned lawyer made fudge. 
It was the best ever fudge too! 
Carmel Pecan.
Oh My! 
I say was because my hubby helped eat it all gone.  Not saying he ate it all cause I ate my share. 
I wasn't supposed to eat sugar today.
Darn It! 
I will try again tomorrow.  He can't make fudge two days in a row.  I hope!

Another failed plan that ended up well after all

Trying to take a picture of a two year old doesn't always go the way you plan.  I doesn't help that the person trying to take the picture doesn't always know the best way first.  Two year old boys get impatient,  even more than the grown up "boys" do.  Think about it.....when was the last time you heard a grown man, that was tired and ready to stop shopping, throw a crying fit at the store?  I am not saying that it never happens..... it is just much more common for a two year old boy to pull that kind of stunt in public.  OH and that fit will always happen with the snootiest lady in line behind you.  Just saying that is how my luck always went. 
Back to the attempts to take pictures.....  I was thinking that Mr. Man would look so cute in all the fall colors sitting in his little Harley Davidson chair.  It sounded like a good plan to me.  There were leaves all over the place and the sun was bright, but filtered, underneath the tree.  There were nice fields with old farm buildings in the back ground.  I was thinking this is gonna look good! 

The two year old was not impressed with ga-ma's plan near as much as I hoped he would be.   

 The first attempt the sun was in his eyes and he didn't want to look towards me.

The second attempt the sun was really bothering his eyes and he didn't want to look up at all and was making squished up faces.  Squished up faces do not equal cute smiles.

So I figured if he was ever gonna give me one of the "too cute" smiles I would have to change positions of the chair.  The back ground wasn't as nice but at least he looked at me.  This time I couldn't get him to hold still.  He bottom is barely in the chair.

 

Then he started giving me the "I have had enough Ga-ma" look.  He was so over sitting in his chair, while outside, on a pretty afternoon. 

 

 

So over it!

He walked off and left me......  I had to give up on this idea and just go with the natural shots.  I learned pretty quick that you can't make this two year old give you the shot you want.  The only way to get a good shot of this little man is to follow him around and have the camera ready.

I don't mind too much, cause he does let me take lots of pictures.  AND when he holds still long enough, AND looks right at me, AND gives me a cute look like this one......

 

It makes feel better about not getting that cute shot in that cute chair in all the wonderful fall color. 

Charmer

This adorable little charmer has such a hold on me.

 

He has developed such a personality!

I love, love, love his smiles.

He talked and talked and talked.  There was very little that I couldn't understand.  He wants to know the name of everything.  He loves to play outside and in the back of his PaPa's truck.

If he can't be outside playing then he will be playing with his cars or "reading" the paper.  Oh!...  and he likes quarters too!

He can use quarters to ride the ice cream truck at the local WalMart or he can buy more cars. 

 

He kept me laughing doing silly things and just exploring everything.  He thought it was so funny to have PaPa's glasses on his head.  (Do you see how long his eyelashes are?)

 

He told me all about Halloween, the Elmo movie and what Elmo says, (for people like me that don't know what Elmo says it is.... "WAKE UP!"), his race cars, his hands being sticky, what turkeys say, what doggies say, (pronounced goggie),that he can run fast, he is a good jumper, and asked me lots and lots of times "See it Gam-ma?"

 

OH! MY!  What a Charmer..... What an adorable charmer.  He is just so cute.  So cute that I don't even remember his 2 year old moments.....

What else could a Grandma ask for?  Except maybe more grandkids!

 



 

 

Foolish dreamer

 

Forward movement is attempted
But momentum is easily distracted
Standing still to catch my breath
Worried movements surround me
In stillness I watch
As many repeat the pattern

I smile at the actions I recognize
Watch to see each choice unfold
Remembering the forgotten
My own needs to be told
Looking inward it is found
So much still to be done.

Eyes closed wishing to hear
Where does it lead
Do you choose to follow
Paths never crossed again
Once decided thoughts settle
A single step is taken

Clumsy foolish dreamer
Why ever do you bother
All used up with trying
Worn through is recognition
Faded ever so quietly
Wisdom has finally won out

What is it worth
This pride that is left
 Just let it go
It was never worth such effort
Do you see what they see
Laugh at how simple it is

The words are empty
Time has already past
Smile and let them think
Watch while they play
Just leave it down
Shame can be worn out
 

Dry Spell

Sorry I have hit a dry spell lately!  Not much going on except work and sleep then work and sleep some more.  I haven't felt very good.  I am not a fan of being wimpy!  Ughhh and Ughhh again. 

We did go for a drive north of our home town yesterday.  It was nice to get out even if it was just for a ride in the truck.  I need to find someplace to go for a walk where the trees swallow me up, OR where the fields are so large I have a hard time seeing to the other side. 
That isn't all that difficult.  I am near sighted and hate to wear my glasses. 

It was cloudy and hazy all weekend but we only received a little bit of rain.  Not near enough! It did keep it cool and I was able to enjoy the ride with the window down.
 

This is what I was able to shoot as we zoomed past.......

 

This is one of a few fields that actually had green and growing crops.  Most of the ones we saw were full of dead stubble.  What a horribly hot dry summer it has been.  I expect the price of food will show it too! 

The oil pump was not working.  It looks new and like it would still be in use..... 

 

Cool twin silo towers. 

 

  I am not sure if they are still used to store grain or not but I thought they were very interesting. 

 

Today we made a fast trip to Stillwater to visit Kita.  We didn't get to stay very long, but it was still an enjoyable visit.  She cleaned out her flower bed in front of her house and saved me bunches of the huge white irises, plus some yellow and orange daffodils!  Time for me to get out in the yard and do some fall planting! 

We came the back way home and I was able to get a small glimpse at some of the burned area near Manford.  The grass and some of the trees are already turning green again.  I bet next year the wildflowers all along this roadway will be beautiful!

I wonder how many of these trees will make it? 

I have lots to get done this week.  The temps are supposed to stay in the 80's so I should be able to enjoy anything done outside.  I hope to get to do some photos of a very pretty little girl and her brother mid week!  I will try to post them if I get to do the shoot. 

 

 

 

A Wedding

Today Mr. T and I took pictures of a wedding.  We were both nervous about doing a good job. 

 

I warned her when she first asked me to take pictures of her wedding that I was not a pro. I was really nervous about accepting this responsibility! What if I messed up? What if she didn't like the pictures? It isn't the type of photo shoot where you can just take more pictures another day. It was a learning experience!  I am so glad that we got to take the pictures but I don't think I am ready to do another wedding anytime soon.  Maybe later when we have more experience we can try again.

 

 We got there early so that I could get photos of the Bride getting ready.

Such a beautiful Bride!

 

 

This is right before she went down the isle. She looked so pretty!

 

Mr.T also took pictures today.  He got some great shots!

 

 

I know there are several shots that I wanted to get that never happened.  In the confusion of the day and the lack of our experience we just missed some. 

 

I think between the two of us we got enough good pictures to show how nice of a Wedding day it was for them.

 

It was a beautiful service.

  

 

Congats to the new couple!