Thanks for the look inside your head

I wish more people that I knew would post a blog.  I think it is a wonderful way to keep track of how they are feeling.  What they are thinking.  It is look inside a person's head that is seldom shared any other way. 

It is also an excellent way to get to know someone that you have never met.  How they view the world and a peek at how they live their life.  I love reading the blogs that I follow.  My favorite blog to read is my little sister's.  We had such a strange childhood that caused us to be raised in seperate households.  So much of our younger years were not spent together.  But we are still so much alike.  Reading her blog confirms how much we are alike all the time!

I keep few secrets.  I always show all my emotions on my face.  Of course none of that translates to blogs.  Unless I posted lots of photos of myself and I don't think I would be comfortable that.  Y'all will just have to make do with what I put down in black and white.  I think my unorganized brain shows up in my writing.  I know my lack of skill does.  Most of my blogs are not fluid.  They jump around too much.  I would never have believed that I would do a blog a few years ago.  Writing down my thoughts and feelings?  Not in a million years.  Funny how time can change things.  And people. 

The posts that I see on FB also show a little bit about a person.  Do they post something funny?  Do they laugh at themselves or are they always complaining?  Are they struggling with a rough spot in their life?  Finding and reconnecting with so many of my old school friends and other kids from the Turley Children's Home on FB has been interesting.  I like seeing what they post.  The things that they share give me a little glimpse into their lives.  After decades of losing touch with them it is nice to see what they have done and who they have become.  Most have married and have become parents.  A few of them are also grandparents.  I would never have guessed most of them chosing the professions that they have gone into.  There is a Fireman, a Teacher, a couple of Nurses, a Coach, a Salesman, an EMT, the list can go on an on.   All of them that I have reconnected with have done well. 
Each of the other Turley kids that I find, that are doing well, seems to lighten a load on my heart that I didn't even know I was carrying.  Maybe I was buying into what I have heard all my life about how wonderful it is that I had such an awful childhood but seem so normal.  Did I think that all of the other kids would have a hard time adjusting and becoming productive adults?  What ever the reason I really feel joy when I reconnect with each of them and see that they mostly happy.
I have been meaning to say something about one of my older blogs for several weeks.  It is one that I did last summer about my stubborn attitude.  For some reason it is still getting read.  Every week someone else reads it.  The average reads on one of my posts is 15-20 hits.  That one has over 40 hits.  I have no idea why that one entry is different.  It wasn't too hard to write but like most of the ones that I talk about my feelings in, it was hard to share.  There are times when I argue with myself about hitting the share button.  Most of my  blogs have been shared.  There has only been a few times that I have given in and not shared the post on FB.  Even fewer times that I didn't publish it at all. 
The thing that amazes me the most is that I seem to be more willing to put things down on a post that I never thought I would share.  It is like once I have written down an old hurt or memory it no longer has as much power over me.  The pain or joy is still there it is just not as intense.  Getting it down, out of my brain, is always the hardest. 
So for all my old school friends that I only see on FB, if you read this I want you to know I love seeing you on FB.  I look forward to your post. 
For my blogger friends, I am always excited when I see you have taken the time to put together another post.  I love that little peek into your life. 
Of course I really wish my old school friends blogged.  I would love to see what they would come up with.