From the back of my brain.

Back when I was about 5 years of age my mother was put in a mental hospital.  The kinder or more gentle way it was explained back then, was that mom had a nervous breakdown.  I remember some but not much of that episode.  I remember asking Grams where my mom was.  Grams told me that mom was sick and was getting help.  I also remember everyone seemed to be on an emotional edge for several days.  I know that she broke Grams' China Hutch.  Grams had all kinds of glassware in there that she had collected.  Mom turned the whole thing over and broke almost every thing inside.
This was the first time that mom was locked up.  My brother, sister and myself stayed with Grams and Gramps while she was away.  I don't remember being upset for very long that mom was gone.  Grams took good care of us. 
On our way to Missouri this weekend I remembered something.  I don't know why this surfaced from the back of my brain.  It was a trip that Gramps and Grams took us on to Vinita, OK to visit mom at the mental hospital.  I know we were all very excited that we were going to see her.  I remember bugging Gramps because we all kept asking "Are we there yet?"  He got tired of that question and told us we were not allowed to ask it anymore.  So our next question was "Is it much further?"  Grams laughed at that so Gramps wasn't as grumpy.  The ride seem to take forever!  We stopped on the way to take a break.  I am sure Grams was the one that suggested it so that Gramps could have a break from us!
We were on the Will Rogers Turnpike and our rest stop was the Howard Johnson.  I was fascinated!  The building is still there but it is a McDonald's now.

The building is a bridge across the Turnpike.  There are tables all along the windows.  I loved sitting at the table and watching all the cars drive under me. 
It is just a small memory and not very complete.  I barely remember getting there and seeing my mom.  But I do remember the glass house restaurant.  Plus it wasn't every day that Grams could laugh at something and change Gramps grouchy mood.  I know we all fell asleep on the way home.  We weren't as excited.  Going home was not an adventure. 
I have only been inside the Glass House one other time. 
I know where I will take a break on the next trip to Missouri.  I will have my camera with me.  I want to take a picture of the traffic as it drives under me. 
Maybe, just maybe, it will pull a little bit more of that 5 year old little girl's memories to the front of my brain.

Road Trip!

We made the trip to Missouri this weekend.  We had originally planned on going at the beginning of the month but the big huge snowfall changed those plans.  Then we had to wait for our doggie setter (Thank you Mattie!!) to get a free weekend.  We can't just leave almost 90lbs of German Shepard home alone for a day and a half.  But finally everything worked out and we got to go visit the Grandson.  And his Daddy and Mommy, we did talk to them a little bit too. 
Wow is he getting big.  Just almost setting up by himself.  Playing with his toys.  And talking!  Lots and lots of baby talk.  I kept "talking" back to him using Ga sounds.  After all he has to make the Ga sound to be able to say Grandma. 

His hand and eye coordination are improving.  Everything goes in his mouth.  Even my fingers.  He is cutting his bottom teeth and wants to chew on everything. 

He has the most beautiful blue eyes.

He was getting a bit sleepy here.  It is hard work being this cute.  It was just a few minutes later and he had crashed. 

He likes to have his bottom patted.  Hmmmm.... I have noticed that "others" of the male species like that too. 

Just an observation.

I got lots and lots of hugs and kisses this weekend.  I was on empty since I hadn't seen him since Christmas.  That is way too long to go without seeing him!  I loved it when he wrapped his arm around my neck and hugged me back!  So sweet!  I keep thinking that I have already given him all of my heart.  Then he does something like that and I find another piece has been given over to him.

There are already plans for the next visit.  His Mommy and Daddy are going to go camping next month.  I get to keep him all weekend. 

Oh Boy are we going to have fun!

How will I ever be able to give him back?

Just plain

It isn't easy to admit... but, I have an addictive personality.  Not me being additive!  My personality would drive people away long before they could get addicted!

It is that I get addicted to things. 
 
My current addictions are:
Caffeine - Love my coffee!  And tea.  Preferably sweet tea.  See next addiction.
Sugar - How I wish I could beat this one!  Dang sweet tooth.
Facebook - Most days I am on at LEAST for a little while.
Headphones - I love listening to music with my headphones.  It blocks out all other noise and lets me get lost in the music!
Swearing - Bad habit.  I can usually control this one.  Unless I am mad.  If I string more than two swear words together that means I am NOT currently in control.  It happens.  That is why it is still on this list.

Not too long of a list.  I have kicked a few addictions.  That is one of the things I can claim about myself that HAS improved with age.  Getting rid of a bad habit or addiction feels good. 
That is all that I can come up with. 
I wonder if others could add to it? 
It might be better for my self confidence if I don't ask!
No way would I ever try to list all of my faults!  I know that list is long.  Some things, I have learned, are just better off accepted. 
I like to think I am fairly opened minded.  On most things.  But I have my limits.  I am still a product of my upbringing.  There are things that set my teeth on edge a few years ago that don't bother me at all now.  So how did I get from my last nerve to not caring a bit? 
I am just not sure. 
Did I, ME, DEBBIE, grow up on a few things?  Is it temporary?  I hope not. 
I am not making as big of a fool of myself lately.  Or a better way to say that might be;  I don't feel as foolish lately.  I might be perceived the "same as always" to others.  But I am more comfortable with myself now.  And to be honest that is what I am more worried about.  If someone didn't like me the way I was they probably still won't like me.  So I am not too worried about what others think about me.  I would rather worry about if I can look at myself in the mirror without loathing. 
I am not comfortable with organized religion but I do consider myself to be a Christian.  I feel that I am a moral person.  I know what is right and what is wrong and try to live my life right. 
I fight judging people.  But I don't want to be judged wrongly, so I have worked hard on keeping an open mind about other people and their struggles.  I know we all handle pain in different ways.  I have observed people react lots of different ways.  It is still hard to watch someone struggle.  The "fixer" part of me wants to help.  But if I have not been asked, then I am only intruding.  And I sure have found that when a "person" intrudes, where they have not been asked, you will end up feeling foolish. 
One of the biggest miracles for me is that I am learning to keep my mouth shut.  Sometimes.  That is so much better than before.  Used to be I never could keep it shut.  Now I can know or feel strongly about something and just keep it to myself.  Amazing.  It is nice to be more comfortable in my own skin.
I also struggle with self worth.  I know I am not trash but how much am I worth?  Good enough to do a job that anyone else could do?  That isn't so good.  Where is the balance between self doubt and an over inflated opinion of myself?   
My own self view is that I am a plain person.  No fancy in me.  Stubborn.  And a bit of a "know it all".  Ewww!  "Know it alls" never know it all.  I hate that part of me.  Why, why, why would I ever think someone would give two cents for my opinion?  Not much to be proud of.  But not much to be ashamed of either.  Just a plain person.  A person with a fairly short list of addictions.  But an admitted fear of listing all my faults.  Also an admitted fear of having other's list my faults.  Hmmm...  As much as I say I don't care what others think, I find that I keep saying things that contradict that.  There is something to think on.

I think I better get out of my house and take some pictures.
The posts with photos are so much easier on me.

Good Monday

I was finally able to deliver my last Christmas present this week. 
Took awhile didn't it? 
My youngest daughter wears contacts but doesn't always have the money to get them.  I wanted to get her 1/2 years worth for Christmas.  It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.  I figured I would call her Optometrist and just ask them to order some for her.  Nope.  They said it had been just over a year since her last exam so they could/would not do that.  They suggested that I pay for her exam.  I didn't want to do that because I was pretty sure she had insurance that would cover the exam.  After the lady made several suggestions I thanked her for her time and planned on just telling Mattie about it on Christmas.  So on X-mas day after she opened her other gifts I told her what I wanted to do.  Go figure, she had already made an appointment to have her eyes examined in January.  She finally had them order the contacts this month and called me last week to let me know they were in. 
Of course it took me a few days to remember to go pick them up.  Anything that is different than my normal schedule is easily forgotten. 
I wonder why that is? 
I got to missing her and wanted to spend some time with her.  Poof!  Oh yea!  I still had not picked up her contacts!  Thank goodness the docs office was open on Presidents Day! 
I also wanted to go to Tulsa and visit Grams so we were able to get both visits in.  I played 2 games of Cribbage with Grams.  Wonder of wonder I won both games.  Grams seemed to be doing ok mostly.  She is having problems accepting her limits.  She is still mad about the family taking her car away from her.  She will just not accept that she shouldn't drive anymore.  She also said something about walking to the store.  I tried to convince her that it would not be a good idea.  I know she would get lost before she got very far.  She has lived in that same area for decades but her memory would fail her.  Plus it is not the best neighborhood anymore.  It is hard to see her so frustrated. 
When Mattie got home from work we headed to her house.  We wanted to go out for dinner but we were having trouble deciding where to go.  We were headed to our favorite Pizza place in Tulsa when Mattie suggested Kilkenny's.  It is an Irish Pub next door to the Pizza place.  BT & I hadn't been there before but Mattie and James had.  Excellent choice!  It was a little bit pricey but had great food and good service.  I don't mind paying a bit more if it is good. 
Monday turned out to be pretty good.  I had the day off so I slept in.  The dog has been waking me up early this weekend.  Saturday I had my feet hanging out of the covers and she kept kissing my toes.  Hard to sleep thought that!
I had a late breakfast or early lunch (however you want to look at it) that I did not have to cook or clean up!
I got to visit with my Grams.  Plus I was able to win two games of Cribbage against her.  That seldom happens.  Maybe she let me beat her?
I got to see my baby girl and have dinner with her and her hubby. 
I didn't have to cook dinner either.  I was able to eat at a new place.  That just never happens.  Or hardly never....
It was a good day. 
It wasn't perfect.  There were a few others that I would like to have seen.  I hate when my family lives out of town. 
Perfect would be if I had all of us together!  Now that would be a great Monday. 

Full Moon

Ask anyone that works in an Emergency Room at a hospital, any Police Officer or anybody that works in Emergency Services, for some reason the full moon seems to affect the crazy people.  I don't know where these people hide the rest of the month but I sure am glad they don't all come out every day!  Of course it isn't just the day of the full moon.  It seems to be a few days before and at least one day after. 
The domestic violence sure seemed to go up this week with some of it being extra violent and the rest just too stupid to be true.  Who thinks that their current boyfriend, the one paying all the bills, will be ok if you move your ex-husband in with you?  How did she really expect that to work out?  No sense in her that is for sure.  I won't review the violent ones on here.  Too sad and pathetic. 
Most Fridays are pretty quiet at work.  Not this week.  It was steady all day.  One phone call after another this morning.  It finally quit ringing so much after lunch but then came all the walk-ins.  There is seldom a line at our Records window but there was today.  I wasn't able to help most of them either.  Same with the phone calls.  I had a lady that wanted to know if I could tell her if her mother was born in Owasso.  It took a bit of explaining from me to make her understand that all I have records of are police reports.  I did check to see if her mother's name had any history at our Dept.  No such luck.  She sure wanted me to have more answers that I was able to give.  I had another one that called that kept asking over and over for legal advise.  I kept telling her I was just a paper pusher and that I was in no way qualified to answer her questions.  It really was strange people day.
I do wish that this was the only time the crazies came out.  But then my job would be a lot more boring!  The one that I had last week that cracked me up wanted to know how to get peoples names, that were like his, off of a criminal history search that he did on his computer.  When I asked him if they had the same first, middle and last name as his he said no.  Next I asked him if they had the same date of birth as him he said no.  I had to explain that "those" people were not him and that if a potential employer did a search they would know that.  I don't think he believed me. 
I guess like most others I want it my way.  A little entertainment when I am bored and a little quiet when it gets too crazy.  That isn't too much to ask for is it? 

One other thing.
Am I the only one that is worried about who is voting and reproducing? 

Alright..... two more things. 
It just occurred to me that I could be one of the crazies. 
Is that anything like the blind leading the blind? 

I could howl at the moon and see if anyone answers. 

From English grammar to a family history lesson.

I typed this blog weeks ago. I wasn't happy with it at the time so I set it aside for a bit. I have gone back and edited it some. I did get some of the old family photos scanned so I feel better about posting it now. 
It just didn't seem right to not post pictures of Great Grandma Carrie when I was going to blog about her.


I have a few different blogs that I like to follow in my effort to keep myself entertained. I read one this week about the current use of the English language. It reminded me of my Great Grandmother Carrie. She was a school teacher and passed her ideas of proper English on to her only living child, my grandfather. One of their pet peeves was ending a sentence with a preposition.

Where are you at?

Wrong. Bad form. Incorrect.

I can still hear my Grandpa say in answer to this, "Between the A and the T". A nonsense answer in response to a poorly worded question. He was supposed to have learned this saying from her. Just in case you don't know...... The proper way to say it is "Where are you?".
You never know, I might have some one reading this that would not know that. I wouldn't want to leave them wondering.
It could happen, me the one who needs an English lesson, could teach someone something.  For those that know me well you can quit laughing now......

I think of him and her every time I hear someone say it incorrectly. I have caught myself saying it that way too. I am sloppy in my speaking habits. I try to do a bit better in my writing but I am not a writer. I catch many mistakes when I proof read but I always find more when I go back and read it after it is posted. All of this made me stop and think about what Grandma Carrie would think of the world today. Her world was so very different.

Carrie E BOYD b: 23 Dec 1884 in IN

She taught at an Indian school called Requah somewhere in Mayes County, Oklahoma. 

Here is a photo of the old school building she taught in.  It was long closed when this photo was taken.

 

From what I have been told she had to quit teaching after she married. She was considered an old maid by the time she married. Only one of her children lived past infancy. They all had a milk allergy. My Grandpa was able to survive on goat milk.

Here is a picture of them. 

I know if it was me I would have the hardest time not over babying my only living baby!

That side of the family is supposed to be Wyandotte Indian. I have not been able to confirm that though. The French called them by a different name, Hurons.  That is a name that is seen in history books.  I did find the family in the 1900's on a Indian reservation when Oklahoma was still Indian territory.

1900 census: Wyandotte Nation, Ology Boyd(41,IN) Nov 1858, sawyer, saw mill, Emily (39,IN)

Aug 1860, marr 22 yrs, 5 of 8 chil living, Dora(18,IN) Oct 1881, Warren(17,IN) Jul 1883, teamster,Carrie(15,IN) Dec 1884, Ada(13,IN) Apr 1887, Emma (10,IN) Dec 1889

Here is a picture of Grandma Carrie and her little sister Emma.

Emma is on the left and Carrie is on the right.  I don't know what year it was taken.  On the back it only lists their names and that it was taken in Wyandotte OK. 

I don't know why the family moved from Indiana to Oklahoma. They are listed as white in the census but whites were not allowed to live in Indian territory back then. Confusing. I know many people did not claim their Indian blood because of the poor treatment they received. Is this what my family did?

I like the Ology name of my GG Grandpa. I have heard his name was Oliver. I can see the little census taker going from door to door asking families their names and my Grandpa saying Ollie G Boyd. Of course this is just a guess because an earlier census (1870) has him listed as Zoology when he was 12 yrs old. There is just no telling what that poor man's real name was! (His headstone simply says O. G. Boyd) Some of the names of other families in the same area were very much Indian names. I think my favorite Indian name on that same 1900 census was Chops A Log. Did his family shorten it when they talked to him? I like names so it makes me wonder.

I was able to trace the Boyd line all the way back to the 1500's in Scotland. There was a quick stay in England. An English lady married into the family at that time. Then the family was back in Scotland, A short stay in Ireland then back to Scotland. Then off to the good old USA. I don't know what year they came to America. All I have is when the when the last Boyd in our family line was born in Scotland.

James BOYD b: 6 MAY 1669 in Kirkintilloch, [parish], Dunbartonshire, Scotland

The next James Boyd was born in the Virginia.
So here is when one branch of my family made it to America. Some where along the line they must have married a Wyndotte Indian. I don't know if it was Emily, that was married to Ology/Ollie/Oliver/Zoology. I don't think it was the next generation back. Daniel Boyd's wife has a history that does not seem to account for any Native American blood.

DANIEL BOYD, farmer, York Township, born in this county in 1831, is a son of Elijah Boyd, whose history appears above. He grew up on the farm with his parents, and shared the limited advantages of the common schools. In 1854 was married to Laura A. IRBY, a native of Indiana, and daughter of Joseph A. and Eliza (WALKER) Irby, natives of Tennessee and Indiana respectively. Her parents married in this State and subsequently moved to Illinois, where they now reside at Caving Rock. After his marriage Mr. Boyd began operations for himself; he made his first purchase in 1857, which he sold in 1860, and then purchased his present farm of 113 3/4 acres, on which he has since resided and has done a general farming business, and has been fairly successful. Mr. Boyd has reared nine children: Fernando, Ology, Angeline, Joseph, Jennie, Emerson, Norris, Daniel and John.

I think I need to look closer at back when the family was living in Ohio. That is where the Wyandotte's were from before they were made to move off their traditional lands.

So how did I get from a complaint of poor English to this long drawn out family history? Simple. My weird head made the connections and I went with it. I tend to over think things. And I tend to carry on too much.

But I wanted to document that I still think of my Great Grandma. It happens pretty often too. She was an interesting lady. I wish I knew more of her story 1st hand. I was too young when she died to be interested in family history. That interest came many years later and much too late to ask her. I do cherish the memories that I have. She was always kind to me. She lived next door to Grams and Gramps and I remember walking over to visit. I learned how to braid hair from her. She had very long hair that she kept braided and wore it wrapped around the top of her head. I remember helping her with it after she washed it. I remember looking and gently playing with some glass trinkets that she had on display in her house. I was always so surprised when she let me play with them. My nick name back then was Debbie Do and the Don'ts. I was always being told Debbie DON'T touch that. (I wonder why? LOL!) Great Grandma Carrie never told me no. She just asked that I be careful. I was so thrilled to be given the chance that I was extra careful. Decades later some of those same little trinkets sit on a shelf in Gram's house. I still remember them being on a little mirrored display on the top of a wooden side table. The table wasn't as lucky. It didn't survive.

Here is a photo of what she looked like when I was a young girl. 

No that is not me in the photo.  I wasn't born yet when this picture was taken. 
She still looked like this when I was about 6.  She always wore a dress.  And her hair was always braided.

You aren't forgotten Grandma. 

All day

I love the weekend.  I enjoy not waking up to the alarm the most.  That thing, the alarm clock, can make the most awful sound.  I am not a morning person but once I am up and moving I do ok.  Ok, once I am up, moving and have had several cups of my lovely friend coffee, I am ok.  I woke up this Saturday morning before dawn and laid there in the dark dreading hearing the alarm going off until I remembered it was Saturday.  It was such a pleasant realization that I REALLY enjoyed rolling over and going back to sleep. 
I did finally wake up, make my coffee, and drink several cups before I finally got in the shower and got ready for the day.
We were going shopping.  Uggghhh
At least it wasn't shoe shopping.
We were looking for a new truck for the hubby.  Oh joy car salesmen....
He has been looking at the Toyota trucks on line and wanted to go test drive one.  He took the title to his old truck with him.  I was pretty sure we were not bringing old red home with us. 
The Toyota dealership is wayyyyy on the other side of Tulsa.  So from 86 St North to 91 St South.  At least it is a straight shot all the way down US 169.  Three brand new, smooth lanes most of the way too.  We left the house around 9am.  I had no idea this was going to take all day.  ALLLLLLL  dayyyyyyyyy. 
Never go car shopping on a Saturday.  Go on Wednesday evening.  I was told that was the day they are the slowest.  If I ever go buy another new vehicle it will be on Wednesday.
So we make it to the car dealership parking lot.  There are huge piles of snow every where.  The main areas have been plowed and it was just warm enough that everything in the sunshine was starting to melt.  The sun was not shining in between the vehicles.  The snow had been packed down hard and frozen in between each truck.  I didn't dare try to walk in between.  I have a healthy fear of slipping on the ice.  I do not want to start all over on my neck healing!  Besides this wasn't for me.  All I was there for was to say if I was comfortable riding in the passenger side of the vehicle.  We actually looked around for several minutes before a salesman found us.  That should have been my 1st clue at how busy they were.  Usually you drive through the lot and there are 2 or more chasing you down. 
We test drove a pretty little black truck 1st.  Nice ride, new, all kinds of fancy options.  But not exactly what the hubby wanted.  The salesman drove us around to the back lot where there were several more that had just came in.  They were so new that they hadn't finished getting them ready for the main lot.  Plus with all the snow they were kinda buried in the fenced off grassy area.  There were several to choose from but the hubby went straight to a beautiful blue one.  It had everything he wanted except for the step rails.  Those can always be added later.  So the salesman had one of the shop men dig it out and bring it around.  This pretty little blue truck drove even nicer.  It had better wheels and tires on it.  None of those low profile things.  Real tires that cushion some of the bumps and pot holes.  There are going to be lots of pot holes with the last two weeks weather!  Lots.
We tell our nice little salesman that we are interested in buying the truck and to make us an offer.  Oh!  I forgot to mention that our salesman was not a local guy at all.  He was from England.  Nice man with duel citizenship.  His dad met his mom while in the Air Force.  He lived here in the US as a child for a bit but went back to England at the age of 8.  He moved back to the US about 4 years ago to work with his Uncle's construction company right after a huge ice storm we had in NE Oklahoma. 
Have I mentioned that I hate winter?  It is such a pain!
So Tom, our salesman, says that he came in to buy a truck and ended up with a job instead. 
He was a good salesman.  Knew his product.  Wasn't too pushy.  So I imagine he does good.  He made us an offer, the hubby countered and they accepted.  Now we had to wait for one of the finance men.  We waited and waited.  They were busy.  We were ready to leave to go get something to eat.  We had been there for about 3 hours at this point and we were both hungry.  So the finance manager had the cafe inside the dealership (Yes a cafe with latte, coffee, pop, tea, cookies, muffins and sandwiches) make each of us a free club sandwich.  They didn't want us to leave and possibly get cold feet I guess.  After we ate Tom came back and we talked about families.  He kept us entertained as best as he could but it was still a long wait.  About an hour and a half later it was our turn with the finance man.  You will never believe where he was from.  England.  Go figure 2 working at the same dealership.  Another nice man that was good at his job.  We bartered and bargained, got a good interest rate, signed everything then it was back to waiting.  They had to get our truck ready.  They did finally get every thing done and handed the hubby his keys.  It was nice to be headed home!  It was 7pm by the time we made it back to the house.  Such a long day.  Very long day. 

So here is what we came home with.

Pretty ain't it? 



Sorry!

Pretty isn't it?