Vacation at grandma's house

I am so excited!  I have grandson #1 at my house on vacation. 

So far we have played at the splash pad

 played at the park

 played in the back yard

 watched movies and had snacks

 

and toured the Police Station.

This very nice Officer took time away from writing his report to show off his police truck.  :)

 

Since I am the person that bugs the Officers to finish their reports I really appreciate that he took the time. 

It is nap time now.  Then his little cousin is coming over to play.  :)!!!!

 

I believe

It has been awhile since I have taken time to write anything on here.  I still feel off balance from the loss of my Grams.  I have tried writing about her several times but most of it I ended up deleting.  I have not been able to find the words.  I guess, because of the loss I feel, I have been thinking about how good life should be.  She is the person I was always worried about pleasing.  Or better stated, she is the one I was worried about displeasing.  She was a wonderful lady.  She was not perfect.  As an adult I look back now and see things very differently.  Her flaws were part of what made her my Grams.  I watched her try hard to get positive attention or approval.  I remember her giving away many of the things she made to anybody that would have them.  It seems she was almost desperately seeking some type of positive response from them.  Maybe it was a since of self worth she was looking for.  The last days of her life she asked me several times.  "Do you love me?"  "Was I a good grandmother?"
I answered her each time she asked the same way.
 
I love you more than anything Grams.
 
You were the best grandmother I could of ever had. 

I cry every time I try to write about her.  She wouldn't like that.  She didn't like crying.  (Sorry Grams I can't seem to help but cry when I try to put my feelings about you down in words.)  Grams loved her family and I believe she left her mark on each of us.  I believe I am a stronger person because of her.  She was the "center" of all good things from my childhood.  She made a strong impression on many of the things I believe. 

So here I am thinking of her, crying and trying no to.  Thinking of the things I feel I believe in because of her.

I believe it is the small simple things that make life sweet.  There are big wonderful moments that make such a huge impression that they are never forgotten.  Those moments don't happen everyday, week or even every year.  I am glad they don't.  Big events often include big changes and those often leave you worn out. 

Simple things can make such a difference.  If you take the time to notice.
A smile given truly.  A nice breeze when you are too warm. The unexpected thank you.  A simple task to make another's day easier.  Hearing a new song that could have been written from your own heart.  A homemade cookie. 
I don't believe that material things can make you happy.  The most expensive house cannot give or show you love.  It is the people in the house that show you love. 
An expensive diamond cannot make your heart melt.  It is the person that shares it with you that will cause you to melt.  You can not buy love. 
What I remember the most clearly is that Grams spent time with me when I was a child.  Really spent time with me.  I believe that is how you make a connection with a person. 

I believe all of us hide things about ourselves.  The face we show the world is always a mask.  Even for the most honest or simple person this is true.  All of us learn through pain to hide the extremes inside of us.  For some people I believe the mask hides a lot.  For others only a few things.  My Grams had a difficult childhood.  The choices her mother made often left my grandmother a victim.  Even as a kid I recognized the strained relationship she had with her mother as an adult.  Funny thing how it was Grams that great grandma lived close to at the end of her life.  I wonder did she ever acknowledge the pain she caused her daughter?  Did she notice the mask that Grams wore? 

I believe that Grams was a very strong woman.  I also believe she was one of the most vulnerable. 

 

Chew Chew CHEW!

Hi Grandma!  Ya got something I can chew on?

Nom Nom Nom

Grandma I need something to chew on!

Nom Nom

Oh.... what is that?

Hmmm.....

Interesting......

If I turn this way.....

Or if I turn it that way......

I could just possibly....

Chew on it! 

 

The last few weeks in pictures

This little cutie is what has had my attention.  He is mobile.  He does not like to get very far away from us yet.  I know that won't last too long.  He is a busy little guy.  Anything new will keep him busy exploring.  His mommy got a job this week and I will get to keep him more often.  I am really looking forward to it. 
I have my summer sinus infection...... along with an upper respiratory infection this time.  I ended up missing a day of work over it.  I made it back to work today but my voice was scratchy/weak all morning.  Pretty sure the time I spent in Gram's basement did a number on my allergies.  I am glad my sister and my husband helped me get the canning jars from down there though.  I now have the items to do canning with a water bath.  I will need to purchase a pressure cooker at some point.  Hmmm....If I get just a portion of the things done that I have "plans" for......
 

2nd time around

My mother's heart missed little bodies snuggling on my lap.  I missed seeing the little face asleep in my arms.  The heavy limp weight that confirmed sleep had finally taken over.  Eye lashes so long they brushed against the softly rounded cheeks.  Is there anything softer than the chubby cheek of a baby?  The gentle little breaths in my ear as I carried them on my shoulder to their bed.  They need so much attention for that very short few years.  How was it possible that they had already grown?  I missed them so desperately.  My heart ached.

Then came the Grandkids!

I have been blessed.  I have two new little bodies to love.
I know all too well that I have to cherish the fact that they need me so much.  This grandma's heart loves each new milestone.  I also know it won't be long before I have to "steal" kisses that I lavish so easily now.  I want to remember each new thing seen and learned. 

I love to watch when Mr. Man pours the water over his own head now.  He used to be so afraid to get any water in his eyes. 

 

 

Can you hear him "roar" in this picture?  I promise you he is.  He was very proud of himself for pouring water all over his head.  It might have been a little bit of a squeaky roar but it was a loud and proud one.   

 

Later that evening I introduced him to a new movie, The Princess Bride.  He loved it.  He has several favorite movies on CD and assumed that this movie was also available when ever he wanted to see it again.  PaPa fixed that.  He went to Walmart and got him his own copy.  We watched it again Sunday morning. 

He likes the pretty princess Buttercup of course.  BUT he really liked the "Man in Black", Wesley.

His Mommy is so very good and found him a black mask and tied on one of her head scarfs so he could also be the "Man in Black".

He makes a most handsome hero.

I love that little face.

 

 I am so very lucky that little Alex lives close to me.  I get him as often as I can.  Why OH Why do I have to work for a living?  Why can't I be a stay at home grandma?  We took him shopping to Walmart with us this week.  It was the first time since he has mastered the skill of sitting up.  That meant he could sit in the buggy and not in his car seat. 

So many things to look at!

I think I need to get a shopping cart cover.  He could not be convinced to quit mouthing the handle.  I am not much of a germaphobe but I have seen some of the people that shop in this store.  Some of them are our worst "customers" at my job and it isn't the thieves as much as the dope makers that I am worrying about.  Those are so very dirty people!

Here is the little guy showing off his new skill.

 

He still isn't quiet crawling.... he is doing a really good at scooting across on his tummy.  Good thing too since I haven't finished baby proofing stuff yet.

 

I think because I have already "lost" my children to adulthood I am enjoying the grandsons being little so very much.  I love being a grandma.

 

Blowing through the cob webs

My fondest childhood memories of summer were the few we spent at Grams' house.  Our main play ground was the creek at the end of Grams' street.

We lived at the creek.  We made forts, dug tunnels in the huge sand pile, and played hide-n-go seek in trees all along the creek.  There was about an acre of land covered in trees and we had trails woven all through them.  The trees and thickets were so thick you could strand on the trail right around a bend and couldn't be seen.  It really was a great place to play hide and seek.  My brother and his friends made dirt bike ramps all through the trails.  I can still hear the sound of their bikes launching in the air and landing heavily.  They were all so very cool with their spray painted bike frames and chromed monkey handle bars.
 
We left the house as soon as we could in the morning and didn't come back until it was time for lunch.  I don't remember being horribly hot much either.  I do remember freezing when I walked in to Gram's living room.  She had a window AC unit and if I close my eyes I can still see her sitting on her couch right in front of it.  Her crocheting or knitting project in her lap, one foot tucked up under her and her needle/needles flying.  I have never seen anyone knit or crochet as fast as she could. 
After dinner I used to sit in the middle of the street and soak up the heat radiating off the black top.  The warmth felt good after being inside in the cold air.  The road was full of bubbles from the heat and I loved to pop them.  I can't imagine me allowing either of my girls sit in the middle of the road for any reason when they were growing up.  If a car came speeding down the road I am sure they would not have been able to see me easily.  I guess it is a good thing that road was not a busy one.
  
All three of us slept in the back bedroom.  Grams had a full size bed that Lisa and I shared and Danny slept on a twin.  The only other AC unit in the house was in the back bedroom and Grams would turn it on after she tucked us all in.  I remember keeping the covers pulled up so that I wouldn't get cold.

So many good memories from my childhood have something to do with Grams.

This is her holding my oldest daughter, her first great grandchild, the day she was born. 

I miss her.
 

Keeping me busy!

He is eating baby food and lots of it.  So far he has had rice cereal, green beans, peas, carrots and squash.  He still makes faces at the green beans but he eats them.

 

Once his tummy is full he is ready to play.  His PaPa got him a walker and he loves to play in it.  His little feet just touch the floor and it won't be long before he is racing around the kitchen and dining room.

 

After playing hard he does have a few cranky moments. 

 

A bottle and a little snuggle fix him right up.

 

 

A short nap and he is right back to smiling and playing.

 

He is so close to crawling.  He gets up on his hands and knees and launches himself forward.  I figure by next week I will need to baby proof any area that he will be able to reach.
Too soon he will not want me to snuggle him to sleep.   He is already so heavy that I have to prop my arm up on the couch.  I am so glad he lives close enough that I get to spend lots of time with him.