So Random

Create
I want to be creative, but don't feel I am. When I try to be creative I am usually pleased, with at least part of the result.  I get something from the partial satisfaction.  Where does this desire to create come from? 

Competitive
I feel a strong, negative, personal response to group behaviour.  I do not feel comfortable with the thought that I am "like" a large group of others just because we wear/buy/consume the same idea.  What is it about "playing" with others that brings out such a rebellious response in me?  The strange fact that I am competitive just does not seem to fit.  How do you compete if you don't play?

Dreams
The dream to be useful or needed is strong.  The idea of being used or needy is repugnant. 
The dream to be strong or healthy is deep.  The idea of weakness or illness can be devastating. 
The dream for understanding can be elusive.  The idea of rejection can freeze your soul.

Fear
Fear, fear, fear. 
Fear to give in.  Fear to give up.  Fear to try.  Fear to fail.   
Fear.  Fear of giving too much.  Fear.
Fear of the future.  Fear of the past.  Fear of change.  Fear of pain
Fear. Fear that things will always be the same.  Fear.

Dislike 
I dislike the judgemental.  I see the same ugliness in myself. 
I am not better than you.  You are not better than me.  We are just different. 
Why is this so hard to learn?

Hated
I hate to give in.  I hate to give up.  I judge myself harshly when I do.
So I find myself unmotivated to try.  That is an attitude that will continue the circle!

Create Competitive Dreams where Fear and Dislike are Hated


This is such a random post. 
I have been in a funk and I believe my brain has stewed for too long.
Too much? 

I need a quote that will motivate me.  That is what I need.  That will fix it. 

For today I will take pleasure in the fact that I did not delete it all.  AND that I published something.